COMPANIONS FOR THE JOURNEY INWARD

There is a great paradox in navigating the spiritual path. It has been said by sages throughout history that the spiritual journey is a do-it-yourself project. No one, not even the wisest teacher, can walk the path for us.  The best they can do is point us in the right direction. Whatever we are to discover, we must experience for ourselves. Yet, there is also wisdom in sharing the road with other seekers (think Martin Sheen’s unlikely band of fellow pilgrims in The Way). It is in this role of companions for the journey that we find great value in places like the Benedictine Center.

Christian Mystics

The individual nature of the spiritual journey has been taught by Christian mystics throughout the ages, from Julian of Norwich, Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross, to the author of The Cloud of Unknowing. In more recent times, wisdom teachers such as Fr. Thomas Merton, Fr. Thomas Keating, Cynthia Bourgeault, and Fr. Richard Rohr speak of the journey as one of self-realization – discovering the buried treasure of one’s True Self deep within – an “immortal diamond”, an inner radiance, a secret identity that is “hidden with Christ in God.”  Colossians 3:3. These wisdom teachers, who have discovered this secret identity for themselves, have also spoken of the path to get there – one of solitude and silence. That is why mystics have historically devoted ever increasing amounts of time isolated in caves, forest dwellings, hermitages, or even small cells in churches (Julian).

Still, as anyone who has embarked on this journey on their own can tell you, it is very helpful to have teachers and guides who know the path, as well as fellow seekers who share their own questions and discoveries. These companions can keep us from getting lost in unfamiliar terrain and from deluding ourselves into thinking we’ve found the true path, only to discover we are in fact heading down a dead-end road of ego deception.

It was for the purpose of this guidance that Julian made time for seekers.  After her “showings” revealed to her the true nature of her union with God, Julian went into seclusion in the Church at Norwich, but kept open a small window to provide guidance to those who sought her wisdom. In much the same way, today’s spiritual directors provide spiritual companionship to seekers who come to the Benedictine Center and other retreat centers.

Retreat Centers

From the Ashrams of ancient India to today’s retreat centers, spiritual seekers have long gathered in community to learn from wise teachers, get counsel from spiritual directors, and share with each other their unique experiences of God’s unfolding mystery in their lives. In many ways, the spiritual journey is a like a grand science experiment.  There are many practices, prayer forms, and meditative techniques available–some resonate with one group of seekers, but not with another. In these settings, teachers, guides and other seekers can help us on the journey by sharing different approaches and what has worked for them. To that end, the Benedictine Center offers programs and practice groups to let us experiment with multiple approaches, including Centering Prayer, Lectio Divina, art meditation, creative writing/journaling, the labyrinth, and many others. While we each have to do our own inner work, we don’t have to do it alone.

FOOD FOR THE JOURNEY WE SHARE

Years ago, when I served as director of another spirituality center, someone once asked me what we do there. In response, I talked about the many programs and retreats we offered and the opportunities for people to come for spiritual direction as individuals or as groups. I talked about our lending library and the various ways seekers could gather in our spirit-filled space.

After the conversation was over, the question stayed with me: What do we really do at the Center? Upon further reflection, the answer became quite clear and simple:  we provide food for the soul to spiritually-hungry people. Unlike physical starvation, often the people we serve are not consciously aware of their hunger for deeper spiritual meaning in their lives. They know they are hungry for something, but often can’t articulate it until they come through our doors and a feeling washes over them and they whisper: “This is what I’ve been missing. I want more of this.”

It seems the depth of our collective spiritual hunger is increasing, as we search for answers to the big questions of our day: How do we respond to a changing climate and our responsibility to be stewards of God’s creation? How do we treat the immigrant as neighbor in the spirit of Benedictine hospitality? Protect our children in a world of increasing violence? Work for the common good to ensure the economic needs of current and future generations are being met?

Awareness, Change, Action

These big and difficult questions do not have easy answers, and I believe they are almost impossible to address without first addressing the deeper questions of meaning and purpose that are the source of our spiritual hunger. For the spiritual journey often leads us on a path of growing awareness (awakening consciousness), to an intention to change (inner transformation), which leads us to make different choices and take action for peace and justice (authentic relationships).

The journey begins with a simple recognition of our hunger, and when that happens, we are here to help you find food for the soul. The Spirit will take care of the rest.

COMPANIONS FOR THE JOURNEY OUTWARD

When Fr. Richard Rohr founded the Center for Action and Contemplation, his intent was to support both the inner journey of contemplation and the outer journey of action in service of the world. The inner journey is not an end in and of itself. We simultaneously embark on a path of action, inspired by the radiant love of our hidden selves. Now, more than ever, inspired action is needed in our communities and in our world.

We live in interesting times, perhaps unprecedented, in which the world’s crises seem to be mounting exponentially, but solutions are nowhere in sight. Polarization of our institutional leadership has led to paralysis in our ability to respond to pressing needs. Our leaders struggle to find ways to have meaningful dialogue, or even to find common language on which they can agree to define the issues.
Finding Common Language

What does this have to do with the Benedictine Center? We believe that the struggle for a common language may emanate from different worldviews and different understandings of meaning and purpose. Even so, every perspective is influenced by our experience of relationship–with the divine, our inner selves, each other, and all of creation. Our struggles may derive from a misconception that we are no longer in relationship with certain others. In short, we lack a sense of community.
Practicing Community

The Benedictine Center’s vision is to create a place that reinvigorates people’s sense of journeying in community with one another.  It is to be a place where people practice sacred conversations.  The Benedictine tradition recognizes the longing and seeking that seems to be a part of everyone’s story. Through radical Gospel living, Benedict gathered people to exercise this longing together. The need is just as great today and the Benedictine Center carries forward that vision. Helping seekers gather with one other, identify their longings, and find the courage to discern and respond, the Benedictine Center nourishes companions committed to the journey both inward and outward.

Jeff Dols serves on the advisory committee for the Benedictine Center. This article posted with permission from the blog at the Benedictine Center of St. Paul's Monastery.

What Are You Talking About?

Have you ever had one of those experiences when seemingly everyone is talking about a book you haven’t read or a person you’ve never even heard of? When this happens for me in the realm of spiritual things, I feel especially left out. There was a time I felt this way about “spiritual direction.” Perhaps I surmised it was some form of companionship for the spiritual life, but I really didn’t know what people were saying. Since then I have grown to appreciate spiritual direction so much that I don’t want others to feel left out. With this short essay I want to help those who are unfamiliar with the practice find a place to begin.

I suggest we treat the topic just like we would in real life--conversationally. I’ll offer my experience as a spiritual director (about ten years) and as a person in spiritual direction (about twenty), and you can weigh my perspective against what you have come to know along the way. I hope you’ll even chime in with your questions and comments below.

Allow me to give you a bit of a back-stage pass to a first in-person meeting with a spiritual director. This one-on-one setting is my favorite for the conversation, especially when I have the privilege of welcoming someone brand new to spiritual direction. I listen for the important threads in people’s stories and answer each question as frankly as possible. No two conversations are exactly alike, but most of them unfold something like this....

What is Spiritual Direction Anyway?

At its core, spiritual direction is “companionship in your ever-deepening relationship with God.” You have likely had other similar companions (pastors, mentors, soul friends). These kinds of relationships, whether formal or informal, are essential to our lives. Personally, what I look for in a spiritual is someone who is trustworthy and intentional. She or he does not have to be a pastor or professional, but I do want a companion who is trained to approach spiritual direction in a way that helps me pay better attention to how the Spirit is working in my life.

Before we get too far, I’d also like to risk saying that spiritual direction may not be for everyone at every season of their lives. Part of me resists that disclaimer because I value the practice a great deal, personally, and because I see the fruit it bears in other people’s lives. Even so, not everyone feels drawn to spiritual direction at this time, and I trust that the Spirit is perfectly capable of stirring in people’s lives anyway. If you are a person that just isn’t sure spiritual direction is right for you, I encourage you to learn a little bit more and tuck it away in your spiritual toolbox, so that it’s available if and when you do become drawn to it. Spiritual direction won’t fade away. For centuries it has served seekers from all walks of life.

What Brings a Person to Spiritual Direction?

People like you and me inquire about spiritual direction when life changes in ways that are outside of our control, when we are trying to find a way forward and things are still fuzzy, when our old ways of praying don’t seem to be feeding us, or when we are just plain looking for “something more.” If you are now or have ever been in one of these places, know that you are standing among many honest companions.

For as often as inner restlessness and outer transitions bring people to spiritual direction, there is something even more common—the recommendation of a friend. Sometimes the people around us notice before we do that it’s time for us to be paying closer attention. I hear regularly that what brings a person to spiritual direction was someone who said, “I recommend you consider meeting with a spiritual director about this. All I can say is it’s been helpful to me.”

What Happens in Spiritual Direction?

What you probably want to know is, “What in the world would we do for an hour?” and that’s a fair question. There are some common elements. Whether people are meeting one-on-one or in a group, they generally experience some mixture of quiet, prayer, speaking, listening, and wondering out loud. It’s a little hard to predict how any particular conversation might unfold, but my experience tells me that we can trust the Spirit to be stirring in that sacred space, whatever happens.

At the beginning of a session, some people like to dive in and start talking about an experience or question they have been pondering. Others like to take a couple minutes to settle down from the drive and figure out what they might like to discuss on a given day. I have had a person sit in silence for 60 minutes and I have had a person speak non-stop for 60 minutes. Not incidentally, both told me that session was the best they had ever had!

The positive experiences of these two individuals—from the extremes of silence to speaking freely—suggests to me that people are longing to be heard and to be accepted wherever they are on the spiritual path. Spiritual direction serves this deep desire by holding a safe place for silence, attentive listening, and whatever helps us pay attention to God’s presence this day.

What About the Cost for Spiritual Direction?

At the Benedictine Center, we suggest a donation of $75 per hour for one-on-one spiritual direction and $45 for group spiritual direction. Some people give more and some people give less, but almost everyone contributes something for two reasons. First, donations allow the Benedictine Center to keep making professional staff available for important conversations. Your contribution honors the fact that these staff members have financial responsibilities to their families and communities. Second, people tell us, “Making a donation is like investing in my spiritual life.” The contribution seems to help people prioritize this practice and commit to taking it seriously.

I encourage you to consider a contribution that is both personally meaningful and sustainable. And, if the cost is still a hurdle, let’s talk about a scholarship of some kind. Truly, I have never heard of someone being turned away because of money.

How Do I Connect with a Spiritual Director?

You’re not starting from scratch, at least. The fact that you have made it this far means you also have at your fingertips both more information about spiritual direction, plus biographies for at least a few spiritual directors! Poke around a bit and see what resonates for you. You might also reach out to friends, leaders in your faith community, or other places like the Benedictine Center to get in touch with a spiritual director.

Once you identify someone, nothing beats an initial no-strings-attached conversation (many spiritual directors even offer such meetings for free, like we do at the Benedictine Center). You get a chance to tell your story, ask some questions, and see how the person responds. If you’re like me, you’ll soon sense whether this person feels like a good fit. Does it seem likely that her/his tone, comments, and questions will help you deepen your relationship with God? If so, try meeting with this person three times and then re-evaluate. Otherwise, nothing is lost in asking this person for a recommendation or two. Keep interviewing directors until you find someone with whom you find a good connection. Meeting with more than one person allows you to experiment with different styles and, importantly, to listen for the different ways you tell your own story.

One thing more: trust that the Spirit is at work in this process. Already something is bolstering your curiosity and courage, so be patient as things continue to unfold. Your relationship with God is worth the search for a companion who will walk this journey with you.

Now What?

Wherever you are in the process, I would encourage you to take this step: Practice solitude with God. No one, not even the best spiritual director, will ever walk your path for you. Your relationship with God already deserves your attention. Spiritual direction may provide a setting for you to explore and express your experience with God, but it will never take its place.

After all this, my hope is that you’ve gained enough familiarity with spiritual direction that you don’t feel left out. If you’re ready to proceed with spiritual direction, contact the Benedictine Center or a spiritual director for an initial meeting. If you’re still pondering, take your time. We’re not going anywhere and there are plenty of resources online for you to continue exploring. We’ll drop some helpful links below.

Blessings on the journey and in your conversations!

Sam Rahberg is the Director of the Benedictine Center and a member of the spiritual direction team. This article posted with permission from the blog at the Benedictine Center of St. Paul's Monastery.