Category: CP Group

The Power of Starting Again

9/16/2014

By Jon Spayde

For me, one of the greatest stumbling blocks to keeping up a Centering Prayer practice is perfectionism. It’s not that I hold up some lofty standard of excellence and compulsively strive to attain it. No–for me, just maintaining a minimum of effort can be difficult, so my perfectionism works at a low level and always in the negative: if I slack off at all, I feel like all of my previous efforts suddenly mean nothing, my commitment is a total lie, and I may as well give up and binge-watch another five episodes of Scandal.

A Spiritual Schlub?

If I miss one of my twice-daily CP sessions, or both of them, for a day, or two days, or several days, it’s proof positive to me that I’m a spiritual schlub who has no business pretending that he cares about conscious contact with God.

This nasty habit invades my actual CP sessions. If I spend most of the time daydreaming and forget to use my Sacred Word, I get depressed and wonder why I started this practice in the first place. I get visions of spiritual giants—Thomas Keatings and Thomas Mertons and Thérèses of Lisieux—their faces alight, their spirits swept up into the darkly glowing presence of God, while I sit slumped in my chair thinking about how I’m going to pay the house painter.

Come Back, Come Back

But if there’s one thing that most spiritual giants—great teachers, contemplatives, roshis, and rabbis—agree on, it’s that slacking off is inevitable and natural, and that the essence of real spiritual practice isn’t staying in a perfect groove—it’s starting back up again, and again, and again. Simply returning to the sacred word, the prayer, the breath, the practice, after falling off or falling away.

“If you break your vow ten thousand times,” the Islamic saint Rumi sang, “come back, come back.” A retreatant once complained to Thomas Keating that she had lost her concentration a thousand times during the CP session. Keating told her she was lucky—she’d had a thousand chances to reconnect with God.

So I am well advised, after three full days without any Centering Prayer at all, to simply return to my chair, set my timer, and whisper that sacred word in my head. Here I go once more, and when I run off the rails, I am perfectly capable of getting back on them again.

Crossposted from 12StepSpirituality.org

Quest for the Keys

6/1/2013

By Jon Spayde

In my fifteenth year of sobriety, I realized that I wanted to thank God in a formal way for rescuing me from alcoholism. Joining a church seemed like the best idea—I wanted to pray regularly with others—and I had been attracted to Catholicism for a few years without taking the plunge. So one bright autumn day I marched up to my neighborhood church, St. Luke's (now St. Thomas More) and enrolled in the RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) class. At Easter of 2000—a resonant year—I was received into the Church.

I have a background as an academic agnostic with a jumpy mind, and it seemed obvious to me that my biggest challenge in practicing the Christian faith would be figuring it out. I loved the beauty of the liturgy, of course, and the dedication of the priests and the religious, but I knew that my real task was getting a clear handle on things like the two natures of Christ, the Trinity, the Virgin Birth. There must be a set of intellectual keys, I thought, for unlocking and understanding these strange things.

When I got the opportunity to write a book in 2006, it was in service of this quest. How to Believe (Random House, 2008) is based on a series of interviews with Christian thinkers, clergy, and laypeople in which I ask them to explain their understanding of the faith, and especially of mind-bending doctrines like the above. To my surprise, many of my informants told me that figuring these paradoxes out wasn't the point. The point was to use them as perfect tools to open my mind to the presence of God, who can never be fully "thought-out," only surrendered to, adored, and thanked.

Not long after, I joined the Centering Prayer group at St. Thomas More—as kind and loving and truly spiritual a cluster of human beings as I have ever come across. I had known about Centering Prayer for a few years—I'd taken instruction in it from Basil Pennington during one of his visits to the Twin Cities—but I hadn't practiced it much, distracted as I was by my search for those doubt-destroying, certainty-producing, purely intellectual keys.

But sitting with my friends in the sanctuary on Tuesday nights, in silence, resisting, retaining, and reacting to none of my many thoughts, I slowly found myself going in two beautiful directions at once: on the one hand, letting go of my demand to understand the faith on my terms; and on the other, coming to find that words like Trinity, Real Presence, and Communion were taking on a new and deeper resonance and a clarity too, a clarity beyond definition. As I went deeper into silence in the presence of Love, those words became road signs toward a deeper silence and a richer Love.

And I also began noticing the changes that are the real point of being on a spiritual path: I was being a little more consciously loving with my wife, a little less prone to annoyance with the world, a little more welcoming of whatever shows up in my life. Today I'm convinced that this task of welcoming and accepting is the best possible employment for my mind, while, with the help of Centering Prayer, I let God change me in whatever paradoxical ways He chooses.

Jon Spayde is a facilitating member of the St. Thomas More Centering Prayer group, and is a regular presenter at the 12 Step Spirituality Workshop, which meets at the Colonial Church of Edina from October through May.

The Gift of Communal Centering Prayer

11/1/2012

By Carol Quest

In my life, centering prayer is a gift that is supported and strengthened by practicing centering prayer in a group. For the past 20 years I have participated in the St. Olaf Saturday morning centering prayer group. This October, I have been blessed by centering at the Minnesota Contemplative Outreach Heartfulness Retreat and at the Contemplative Outreach Annual Conference in Snowmass, Colorado. As I look back on both the Heartfulness retreat and the conference, I savor experience of communal centering prayer.

The weekend of October 7 to 9, 40 people gathered at Dunrovin Retreat Center for a “silent” retreat which included six sessions of centering prayer. For each session, we gathered in a circle in a room with a beautiful view of the St. Croix and settled into 30 minutes of silence, then a meditative walk, then another 30 minutes of silence. I am always grateful for Father Keating’s advice not to judge the success of a session of prayer. If I were to judge, I could find plenty to worry about. Instead, as I look back on that early October weekend, I have the sense of deep relaxation, peace and contentment.

Retreats end and life returns to normal which means practicing centering prayer on my own twice a day. This personal practice, however, is supported by attending centering prayer on Saturday mornings at St. Olaf Catholic Church in downtown Minneapolis. Even after 20 years it surprises me that I don’t have to make myself get up on Saturdays and drive to centering prayer. I simply want to be there. Gathering for centering prayer on Saturday morning seems as natural and important as breathing.

At the end of October, I flew to Colorado to attend the Contemplative Outreach Annual Conference. The prayer room at the conference looked out onto snow-covered mountains. We were asked to keep the prayer room sacred by not talking as we came in or went out. Thus, 150 of us would gather silently to pray. Many people would pause as they entered to bow gently to the center of the circle, adding to the sense of sacredness. The bell would ring three times and we would sit in silence for thirty minutes. Then the bell would ring again. I am not saying that centering prayer is ever easy or that I hardly had to use my sacred word. What I did experience was the palpable, supporting presence of others silently giving themselves to the prayer. When I think back on the experience, I remember it as being embraced by the silence of everyone present; as if our circle was being wrapped in a heart-warming mystery.

Now I am home again and my practice is continually strengthened by the memory of the group experience and by the commitment to prayer of all the members of Contemplative Outreach--at St. Olaf, at Dunrovin, and at Snowmass.

Carol Quest is a Minnesota Contemplative Outreach Chapter Coordinator and a Centering Prayer Presenter.

The Importance of a Prayer Group

1/15/2011

"Letting Go and Finding Anew"

By Joan Kovacs

"Join a Centering Prayer Group", is one of the practical suggestions Fr. Thomas Keating offers to extend Centering Prayer into our daily life. After introductory workshops, more than twenty years ago, I did just that! And I have been a member of a weekly prayer group ever since.

Then came my life changing decision. In my final retirement, I would move from New York City to my hometown, Red Wing, Minnesota! In addition to the weight of decisions to relocate, to sell my cooperative apartment, to buy a new home, to become a part of a new community, one of my major concerns was to find another Prayer Group---maybe a Monday night Prayer Group?

Monday nights were reserved as "Prayer Group Night". The group of ten of us had been together for so many years that Fr. Thomas suggested that we should be called a Prayer Community. Each Monday night we met in a member's home for Centering Prayer, sharing, Lectio Divina and shared prayer. Then time around the dining room table for coffee and talking and talking! We were bonded through our Centering Prayer, sharing life stories, Lectio and love. We witnessed each of us growing in our own unique way to become the adults that we are today. The Holy Spirit surely was in our midst guiding us.

What was I to do? How would I find a new prayer group? Would I be accepted as a new member? What would it be like to be a new member? What would be the prayer group's format?

Contemplative Outreach's web site offered help. I was referred to Sr. Virginia Matter, one of the coordinators for Minnesota's Contemplative Outreach Chapter. Her gracious email directed me to the Villa Maria Retreat Center, Frontenac, MN – only fifteen minutes from my new home. The response from the "Villa" was encouraging-yes, the group welcomes new members.. When did the group meet? Monday mornings!!

This Villa group also had been together for over twenty years. Originally it was started by Fr. Carl Arico, who came to the Villa to do a retreat and workshop. Several current members were at those original sessions and throughout all these years have carried the spirit of Centering Prayer to many new participants.

I was welcomed first by a phone call from one of the members. When I came to the group, I was introduced and immediately included in the morning's plans. This group uses the Readings for the coming Sunday for Lectio. Did they have time to share "around the table"? Yes, at the beginning of the morning's meeting coffee and--- is served and there is sharing of the events of the recent journey. I could sense the bonding within the group and the concern that the members have for one another and those qualities were extended to me. I felt included in the circle of pray-ers.

What makes these groups Centering Prayer Groups? Deep faith as evidenced by the commitment to pray, respect and acceptance for each other, desire to be strengthened and to give strength are the basics for the members. There is strength in prayer groups and for each of us recognizing that we are united with persons around the globe in the worldwide practice of Centering Prayer. All of us are bonded together and journeying together!

Originally I was introduced to Centering Prayer by Mary Mrozowski, In the late 1980's Mary, the Amma of Centering Prayer, formed a Sunday night Prayer Group. We were fourteen adults gathered mostly from the Long Island Divorced and Separated Catholic Organization. Our meetings were held weekly in her living room. She was our teacher and spiritual guide. After our prayer, Lectio Divina and sharing, an Italian Sunday night supper was served and we talked and shared some more. (Most of us were alone either from a divorce or an "empty nest" and that meal was an important part of our community's bonding). When Mary entered the Contemplative Outreach's Lay Community, this prayer group gradually disbanded and I joined another prayer group newly formed in my home parish. Earlier I had been part of the team that presented an Introductory Workshop to the parish.

And so do I miss my NYC group?---yes, and we will always be united in prayer on Monday nights. I read their Lectio book, "Falling Into The Arms Of God" as my daily reading. When I go back to visit, I am welcomed and I am able to share my new life experiences and join the sharing on the Lectio. We are always in each other's hearts and prayers.

And am I enjoying my "new" prayer group? Yes! I am blessed with new companions on the journey as we grow in faith and love together. A Centering Prayer Group continues to be an important part of my life.

Joan Kovacs lives in Red Wing. She is a member of the Prayer Group at the Villa Maria Retreat Center, Frontenac, MN.

An Inner Authority

12/15/2010

By Bill Bailey

Most of us when we began our practice of Centering Prayer were introduced to Open Mind, Open Heart by Thomas Keating. In that volume, Father Thomas presents a chapter (Chapter 3) in which he speaks of the history of contemplative prayer in the Christian tradition. Most of his writing, at least in that chapter, explained how contemplative prayer gradually disappeared from Western Christianity from about 1200 until the beginning of its revival in the last century. So for this newsletter, I planned to write a short history emphasizing several earlier individuals from the time of the Desert Fathers to 1300 -- individuals who influenced a classic in Christian mysticism named The Cloud of Unknowing (circa late 14th century). Alas, that writing task is yet to be completed.

As I tried to begin the essay, I asked myself why this historical background was of such interest to me. When I began centering in 1994, I believed I needed assurance that this method was legitimate. Not too surprising to me, I believed that my early interest in the historical aspects of this new method showed my concern to look to "authority". I wanted to confirm in the literature that those Desert Fathers had, in fact, practiced contemplation and planted the seeds which flowered into Centering Prayer as a gateway to contemplation. Then I worked to connect the dots between the Desert Fathers and Keating. This was strictly my head stuff!

I suppose I was not unlike many of us. We move through life; and when we encounter some new issue or activity, we look to authority for answers and approval. Is this for me? Is this acceptable? What does the Bible say? What does the Church say? What does the priest say? We choose the answer that best "fits" -- the answer that gives us security within our lifestyle and within the limits of how much intellectual effort we choose to expend. We are uncomfortable unless everything fits and is logical. Our desire is to resolve the issue NOW and "inside the box." These are answers with no growth. If no compelling argument resolves the issue to our satisfaction, we chose to avoid the subject that poses the problem. Out of sight, out of mind. This approach generally allows us to shirk some very important work -- inner work.

I have been blessed with having a community for sixteen years that has been the focal point of my Centering Prayer practice. We have referred to ourselves as the St. Olaf Centering Prayer Community. Those of us who attend our gatherings each Saturday morning from 9 to 11 have had this Community and Sr. Joan Tuberty as our support as we do our inner work. Our regular meetings begin with an hour of centering – actually, two twenty minute sits separated by a slow meditative walk around our circle of chairs. There, in the darkness of Crowley Hall in the basement of St. Olaf Catholic Church, vigil lights flicker and illuminate the icons which surround us. There in that hour we individually breathe in silence and attempt to affirm with our every breath that God lives deep within our being. As a community, we unite in our silence as if we each are a stream of silence flowing into a deep and sacred well.

With hearts opened by our silent prayer, the second hour is a time of sharing. It exemplifies our need to live in the world as God works in each of us. Whereas the centering allows us to demonstrate our intention to be open to God’s presence within, this second hour has provided opportunities to listen and see the image of the God within us mirrored back from the members of the Community. The listening may occur as we:

do lectio divina together,
view a video of Father Keating, Luke Timothy Johnson, or Bede Griffith,
listen to each other or an audio CD discussing a spiritual topic,
"listen with our eyes" to the message of an icon appropriate to a feast day of the Church,
in addition, read together articles or sections of books concerning our mystical journey.

It is in the discussions that follow the centering, that we hear messages that ring in our hearts as truth.

As to my quest for answers, I remember the time, while listening to a member of our group that I learned my faith did not make me responsible for finding answers to a set of theological questions. My faith is a gift wherein I am to be patient with mystery. Summing up what I believe is our shared point of view; I paraphrase the words of Father Richard Rohr from his book Things Hidden: "Faith is patience with Mystery. Love is the goal, but Faith is the process of getting there and Hope is the willingness to live without resolution."

Even though I provide this one example, do not think that we are expecting to receive a flood of miraculous inspirations from our practice and sharing. We merely become open to God’s work and accepting of God’s pace, wisdom, and loving guidance. We are being shaped as on a slow moving potter’s wheel - no shocks, no surprises.

Ultimately, over the years of this inner work, the most important task is to learn to be present. Present to our practice and to each other. We find through our practice and living with our community that within us has grown an inner authority, which we are able to trust. It is not a database of knowledge that has accumulated with age. Our inner authority is not a resource to draw upon to construct the "right" answer to a particular issue. It is not knowledge of the head, but knowledge of the heart. My inner authority tells me that determining the support within Christian history for the practice of Centering/Contemplation is not important. Part of my inner work is to move me from that head stuff into my heart. I know in my own heart that I have experienced the blessings of this practice. That is what I can profess as valuable and true.

I close with a paradox. Blessed with some level of an inner transformation, we are never able to separate ourselves from others around us whom we too often discount and generously describe as "misguided." It is not a matter that we are right and they are wrong. Having inner authority – being in touch with it – is available to everyone. Part of the paradox, part of the mystery, is the fact that God uses each and every one of us. We each hold a piece of the Mystery. We are not to move to action and conclusions without prayer, contemplation and inclusiveness. We are all instruments in the hands of a loving God. So we strive to live prayerfully and with openness – firmly in flux.

Bill Bailey has been a practitioner of Centering Prayer and a member of St. Olaf Centering Prayer group since 1994.

The Power of Starting Again

Quest for the Keys

The Gift of Communal Centering Prayer

The Importance of a Prayer Group

An Inner Authority

Presence & Action Blog

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