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What Discernment Means to Me

9/11/2019

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By Michael Kassner
Re-posted with permission from www.benedictinecenter.org

Two questions have plagued me over the years: How does one bring God into the process of making decisions, and how does one know if a thought is appropriate?

As a Benedictine Oblate, I knew of the Benedictine Center’s School of Discernment but did not immediately make the connection that the school, conducted by Dr. Kathleen Cahalan of St. John’s School of Theology Seminary, was exactly what I needed. Cahalan defines discernment as, “Following the inclination of Grace, those personal, subtle promptings of the Holy Spirit,” and adds that, “Decisions become sacraments of grace when we yield to ‘Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.’”

It took about two seconds for me to check my schedule and sign up for the class. During the retreat, Cahalan introduced what she called afflicted thoughts, offered tools to recognize and eliminate them, and finally, suggested practical ways to bring God into the process of making decisions.

Not long after the school ended, I was able to apply what I learned, in particular, how to bring God into my decision-making. I was asked to join my parish’s sacristan team—truly an honor. However, I did not answer right away. The position required a significant time commitment, and I was unsure if I could make it work.

Cahalan, during one of the classroom sessions, talked at length about “how to imagine the possibilities and live into each one of them.” That seemed perfect for my situation. I imagined saying yes, as well as saying no. Several interesting scheduling options surfaced that I would not have foreseen any other way. After juggling my commitments, I found the time. Several weeks later, I am proud to say the decision seems right, and as sacristan, I have all sorts of new and exciting decisions to discern.

Michael is a freelance writer and editing professional with a particular interest in the field of cyber-technology. He is also an Oblate and volunteer of St. Paul’s Monastery and has attended both the School of Lectio Divina and the School of Discernment.
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God Saw Her, by Lynn Johnson

10/18/2016

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God saw..
silver and gold trees
and cold mountains

God gazed..
at the stream swollen gray

God watched..
quaking willow leaves

God searched..
tall marshland grasses
splaying in the wind

Gathering flowers,
dried wheats and weeds,
a woman cleared her way
– the path to her home –
with the bountiful

God saw her...
In awe,
God saw her
among the gold and the green


~Lynn Johnson
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In the Desert, Part 4: God Comes to Us

9/8/2016

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Picture"Take up your cross and follow me."
by Jody Johnson

"God comes to us disguised as our lives." –Richard Rohr

Just as thoughts must be released not once, but over and over again during contemplative prayer, so our human weaknesses and flaws must be recognized, acknowledged, and surrendered again and again in our daily lives. Perhaps this is why Jesus does not say, "Lay down your cross and follow me," but "Take up your cross and follow me." The Christian path of self-renunciation and deepening interdependence with God and others is a lifelong journey. Francis de Sales knew this and counseled Jane de Chantal, against her will, to return to and embrace the circumstances of her own life. Seeking visions and "ecstasies," Jane wanted to disappear into God, but Francis proposed instead an "ecstasy of love" lived out in humble service to others. Otherwise, her faith would remain a mere abstraction or sentiment.

PictureVibrant community life hums all around

"In our vulnerability we break open the compassionate heart of God in others and for others."
–Jody Johnson

I encounter the limits of my solitude in an unexpected way in my own particular circumstances. I've moved to an urban monastery in Phoenix, much like our own Visitation Monastery, to continue my retreat. The vibrant community life hums all around, complete with its shadow economy: an impromptu barbershop is set up on the patio of my retreat house; a neighborhood 'restaurant' springs up in someone's garage on weekends and vanishes by Monday.

My retreat house sits at a distance from the main house. I am alone, by design, and during the day the solitude is nourishing. But as darkness sets in on my first night, I feel afraid. I try to recall the day’s scenes that bespeak a tight-knit and safe community, but it is not enough. I pick up the phone and call the main house. Sister Lydia answers. I explain what is happening and ask if I can spend the night there. "Sure, come right over," she says. Still, I feel weak and stupid, lacking in faith. If Jane’s spiritual challenge was her strong will, mine is pride, a close cousin. I gather my things, walk to the house, and sheepishly ring the doorbell. I’m greeted with a warm "Come right in; I'll show you to your room." No questions asked. This simple act of hospitality is laden with compassion and mercy, and I see clearly in this moment that I am called to do the same for others.

PictureSunset
In our vulnerability we break open the compassionate heart of God in others and for others. Giving and receiving become one as part of God’s lived life in the world. Echoing Francis de Sales’ thoughts almost four centuries later, Thomas Keating says, "A new asceticism for people of good will might be the practice of goodness; that is, just being good to everybody." I am ready to return home, to my life.

Live Jesus. Love now.

Jody Johnson is an oblate and formation director at Visitation Monastery in Minneapolis. She wrote her "In The Desert" series while on a two week study and prayer sabbatical. Jody also teaches contemplative practice and spiritual formation at United Theological Seminary of the Twin Cities. This article is cross-posted from Jody's blog, with her permission.

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Praying Grace-Fully

3/27/2016

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by Samuel Rahberg
This reflection follows an adult forum on Sunday March 13th, 2016, with the fine people of Christ Church Lutheran in South Minneapolis. It is re-posted here with permission of the author from his personal blog at www.samuelrahberg.com.

From biblical times through the modern day, Christians have asserted that the practice of prayer is essential to the life of discipleship. Unfortunately, prayer can also become a source of shame and inadequacy. Who among us doesn’t feel that our prayer life isn’t what it should be?

Take this week, for example, as I found it particularly difficult to pray. I was having trouble quieting down, I couldn’t focus well on what I was reading, and even my journaling felt a bit too forced. After a couple mornings of this, I realized that my attempts to try harder were only making matters worse. We all experience something like this from time to time.

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From Vietnam to Centering Prayer

10/20/2015

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by David Jorgenson

I remember 50 years ago riding in an UH-34D helicopter heading west over the South China Sea. A clear blue morning greets me under a cloudless sky. We are U.S. Marines heading for the landing zone in Chu Lai, Vietnam. I’m wondering if I will see my 20th birthday in 22 days or even my 21st birthday. I’m carrying a PRC-10 radio on my back and holding an M-14 in my hands straddled between my legs. I land without enemy fire. Marines move out to secure the area. Our strategy is to secure the area around the future airstrip. We dig in, setting up a defensive perimeter for the night. Our May 7th landing ends without casualties.

This is how I remember my first day in Viet Nam. My tour of duty was filled with lots of radio watch, night patrols, digging latrines, hilltop relay stations, sweeping operations clearing out Viet Cong from around the Marine Airstrip. We, the 1st Battalion 4th Marines swept the surrounding area near the airstrip flushing out Viet Cong to prevent them from attacking airstrip.

Though I walk thru the valley of booby traps and land mines, I feared no evil. Well, not exactly...

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Yesterday, Tomorrow, and TODAY: Being a Servant Leader

7/14/2015

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by Diane Boruff

As Carol Quest and I step down as Co-Coordinators of MN Contemplative Outreach I am filled with an overflowing of gratitude, joy and humility.  I wonder, "How did I ever come to be a co-coordinator?" There was no grand 20 year plan nor any goals set on my part which is the usual advice given to people. Little did I know the first time I learned of Centering Prayer that the prayer would become integral to my life and that the people I met would become united in my heart. As I began my centering prayer practice filled with struggles to be still I had no clue as to what could unfold as the Spirit worked in me. Along the way I met wonderful centering prayer practitioners who encouraged me and helped me stay faithful to the practice. Now it is overwhelming to be with all of you and see the first servant leaders, the current servant leaders, and the new leaders. What joy to witness the transition of leadership to two new wonderful co-coordinators and to think of those who worked before and those who will continue the work so that Centering Prayer may be available. Seeing the new leaders and the leadership team continue the work to implement the vision of transformation in Christ fills me with hope for all that is to come.

It is of course with greater clarity that I look at my journey past than to what lies ahead. As did those who preceded us, Carol and I endeavored to maintain and promote the teaching and practice of Centering Prayer. As we planned, we prayed to remain open to the work of the Spirit. When the guidelines for preparing presenters of centering prayer changed, we were able to adjust the use of grant funds and have more new presenters.  Much more was accomplished than we had even imagined! So as we vision and plan for the future it is good to remember the Spirit is leading and doing the work in the hearts of all of us.

TODAY - being present to the NOW of Today - is one of the teachings that I apparently need to learn and relearn. For me becoming a servant leader was a step by step daily practice. The path unfolded led by the Spirit from practicing centering prayer, to presenting centering prayer, to working to implement enrichment days, retreats and leader training. My journey has been one of prayer, listening, being nudged and doing each day that which I could do to live my life rooted in God. My aim is to step into the world each day trusting in the boundless love of God and attempting to welcome all people with "utmost charity and love." Of course, this is easier said than done, so it is the returning each day to the practice of centering prayer — returning "ever so gently" — that helps me be open to the loving prompting of the Spirit. I am so thankful for all of you who by your prayer practice support not only me but all you meet.
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Let God Do the Heavy Lifting

2/13/2015

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12 Steps for Centering Prayer
by Mary Lapham


The only "work" we do in Centering Prayer is consent.

I’ve attended so many 12 step meetings where people say they feel bad about how they are "working," or not working, the steps.

This orientation seems to trigger ego (false self), performance, and shame.

There are even people unwilling to sponsor others, because they feel they haven’t done their own program perfectly, or enough, or "right."

I hear a lot of focus on our own "effort" in meetings.

It is my experience, both in recovery and Centering Prayer, that God does all the heavy lifting. God does all the work, and that’s a good thing!

All I CAN do is be humble, open, and willing to consent to God’s Presence and Action within me.

Father Thomas Keating, in his book The Better Part, says:

   The heart of prayer is to recognize the presence and action of God and to consent to it. We
   do not have to go anywhere; God is already with us. Effort refers to the future and to what we
   do not yet have. Consent refers to the present moment and its content. Faith tells us we
   already have God - the divine indwelling.

It was this emphasis and thinking that motivated me to write a version of the 12 Steps from a contemplative perspective.

I have been in recovery 30 years, and practicing Centering Prayer for almost 20. At this point in my journey, I am coming to see how beautifully they work together, and how they might bring about a new level of transformation. As I see it, "restored to sanity" has come to mean freedom (from my false self), clarity, and emotional sobriety. This parallels the transformation into the mind of Christ that Keating describes as the goal of Centering Prayer. We are able to "Act - Not React" - no longer triggered by frustration of our old, familiar programs for happiness: the desires for security/safety, approval/affirmation, and power/control. Both motivation and intention have changed: I no longer have to go through life unconsciously trying to satisfy and pacify my wounded inner child. Instead, knowing I am unconditionally loved, and in constant relationship to the God within, I am free to fulfill the practical responsibilities of everyday life with gladness, and to serve others with love.

As you will see, I am still in process. For some of the steps, I have written several options. I am eager to receive feedback: I would love to know how this strikes you, and what, if anything, fits for you:

1. Admitted (accepted) we were operating out of old, learned programs for happiness, that will never satisfy spiritual hunger. 
1. Admitted our programs for happiness don’t work, and that living out of our false self makes life unmanageable, and makes us self-absorbed and useless to God.
1. Admitted we were looking outside ourselves for happiness, abandoning our True Self, and so, God.

2. Came to believe in our inherent Goodness, and the Divine Indwelling.
2. Came to accept God’s infinite love, by expanding our capacity to receive Him in Centering Prayer.

3. Made the intention to consent to God’s presence and action in every moment, beginning with our regular centering prayer practice every day.
3. Became willing to consent to God’s presence and action by practicing Centering Prayer everyday.

4. Allowed God to take our inventory, and accepted it.
4. Began to see how our old emotional triggers and patterns from childhood block God’s love, and hurt God, self, and others.

5. Came out of isolation to tell our stories: admitted our addictions, denials, defenses and pain to each other. Began to hear new ways to live.

6. Became honest and vulnerable. Expressed our truth, and allowed for emotional unloading.

7. Humbly consented to transformation in Divine time, without comparison or need for rational understanding.

8. Gradually practiced new ways to live God’s love: with compassion and forgiveness for self and others, especially when we fall down and miss the mark.

9. Went back to humbly repair the damage cause by the consequences of living out of our False Self. Accepted (consented) to God’s comfort and guidance.

10. Used the Welcoming Prayer and active prayer sentences to continue to grow in God’s love and acceptance of our own life and humanity, and letting go of the desire to change our thoughts, feelings, situations, others and ourselves.

11. Sought through Centering Prayer and Lectio Divina to expand our capacity to receive God’s love, by consent.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening, we live our lives out of the transformative presence of God’s love, and sharing it with every person we meet.
12. Allowed God to live our lives, to live through us.
12. Continued to take action in our lives, and to share the fruits of the spirit in service to others.

Thanks for reading this. Let me know what you think. It came to me on retreat, and the only thing I know to do is share it.

Mary Lapham volunteers on the board of the Minnesota Chapter of Contemplative Outreach and is in formation to become a Certified Presenter of Centering Prayer. To contact her by email, click here.
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To Err is Human ... and Holy

11/11/2014

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By Carol Quest

In September, I enrolled in an online course, offered by Spirituality and Practice, called The Holy Fool: Finding Spiritual Liberation in Foolishness and Humor, led by Thomas Moore.

Most of the time, my brain was stretched to the snapping point trying to understand what was being presented. Even though I spent plenty of time scratching my head and asking myself "What is he talking about?" — I somehow ended up changed. What shifted for me was that I accepted in a very profound way that making mistakes is actually part of being human — and it is a good part. Somehow working through that course altered my sense of self so that I don't cringe every time I mess up.  Instead I find myself able to be more lighthearted about a mistake, saying to myself with amusement, "What do you expect, you're human?" I have been practicing for two months now, and every time I manage to respond that way, I experience a true lightness of heart and a sense of new-found freedom. Of course, I don't always manage to react with such equanimity. Sometimes I get caught in excusing or explaining or maybe even blaming. But oh, the times I step into the Holy Fool's shoes, and quickly acknowledge my mistake, and then let it go and move on … those times are sweet, indeed. Thank you, Thomas Moore!

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The Power of Starting Again

9/16/2014

 
By Jon Spayde

For me, one of the greatest stumbling blocks to keeping up a Centering Prayer practice is perfectionism. It’s not that I hold up some lofty standard of excellence and compulsively strive to attain it. No–for me, just maintaining a minimum of effort can be difficult, so my perfectionism works at a low level and always in the negative: if I slack off at all, I feel like all of my previous efforts suddenly mean nothing, my commitment is a total lie, and I may as well give up and binge-watch another five episodes of Scandal.

A Spiritual Schlub?

If I miss one of my twice-daily CP sessions, or both of them, for a day, or two days, or several days, it’s proof positive to me that I’m a spiritual schlub who has no business pretending that he cares about conscious contact with God.

This nasty habit invades my actual CP sessions. If I spend most of the time daydreaming and forget to use my Sacred Word, I get depressed and wonder why I started this practice in the first place. I get visions of spiritual giants—Thomas Keatings and Thomas Mertons and Thérèses of Lisieux—their faces alight, their spirits swept up into the darkly glowing presence of God, while I sit slumped in my chair thinking about how I’m going to pay the house painter.

Come Back, Come Back


But if there’s one thing that most spiritual giants—great teachers, contemplatives, roshis, and rabbis—agree on, it’s that slacking off is inevitable and natural, and that the essence of real spiritual practice isn’t staying in a perfect groove—it’s starting back up again, and again, and again. Simply returning to the sacred word, the prayer, the breath, the practice, after falling off or falling away.

“If you break your vow ten thousand times,” the Islamic saint Rumi sang, “come back, come back.” A retreatant once complained to Thomas Keating that she had lost her concentration a thousand times during the CP session. Keating told her she was lucky—she’d had a thousand chances to reconnect with God.

So I am well advised, after three full days without any Centering Prayer at all, to simply return to my chair, set my timer, and whisper that sacred word in my head. Here I go once more, and when I run off the rails, I am perfectly capable of getting back on them again.

Crossposted from 12StepSpirituality.org

Surfing Emotional Waves

3/15/2014

 
By Jim Babin

My first clue to the power of meditation was its ability to calm my mind. Once a month I spent an hour with a client planning his newspaper advertising. He spent most of the time swinging from one thought to another, rarely sticking to one idea. It seemed that he was always looking for the perfect answer. By the end of our time together my brain was frazzled and the rest of my day was shot. I shared this with a colleague of mine and he recommended a paperback about meditation. It was written by Dr. Herb Benson, MD and titled “The Relaxation Response.” It recommended a method for quieting the mind. I bought a copy and started practicing it after each meeting with my client. I would sit in my car after our meeting and spend 15 minutes doing it. It was a simple method that chose a neutral word, such as “One."  I said it repeatedly, quietly to myself; interrupting my thought process.

I was so impressed with the calmness of my mind that I began using it as a regular practice. I worked for a daily newspaper, fighting 16 deadlines a week and while I liked the job it was anything but calming. One day a secretary I worked with asked me what was going on in my life. I asked her what she meant and she said that I didn't get angry any more. I told her that I didn't understand what she was getting at. I thought about that for a few days and realized that she was partially correct. I was still getting angry but wasn't acting my feelings out. My meditation practice was developing a time delay in my thought process so that I wasn't reacting to them spontaneously but was slowing down the process, giving me time to decide what do about them, if anything. Here again I had discovered a new tool in my life's journey.

After a while though I sensed a spiritual disconnect. About that time I discovered another paperback on meditation titled Centering Prayer, written by Fr. Basil Pennington OCSO. He offered a different method. I liked the spiritual connection and changed over to his method. It fitted my spiritual and religious beliefs and so I began a 25 year spiritual journey.

As I traveled this journey over the years, I was able to do things and take on projects that I never would have done if my fears and anxiety levels weren't being surfed through giving me emotional and spiritual support. My beliefs, prayers, and faith in my God and my church became more real and important to my life. I saw God as the ultimate reality present in so many ways, in the world and in my life.

At the same time that I began my meditation journey I also discovered the AA-12 Step program for Children of Alcoholics. Its 11th Step suggests that we seek God through prayer and meditation. For me it was a perfect fit. It came about at a time when my life was falling apart, but that's another story.

While my life has been full of ups and downs over these years, Centering Prayer and the 12 step program has helped me surf the emotional waves that rolled through my life and helped me maintain serenity and sanity.

Jim Babin is a facilitating member of several Twin Cities Centering Prayer groups, and was a longtime treasurer and board member of Minnesota Contemplative Outreach.
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    MN Contemplative Outreach publishes articles written by, and for, practitioners.  They are designed to deepen understanding of the Centering Prayer Practice and its power to change lives.

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